Complicate Me Read online

  “Anyway,” Sienna says, reaching for her drink. “I’m guessing by the end of this road trip you too will be a lover of nineties music.”

  I chuckle, pressing another kiss to the top of her head. “Maybe,” I tease. “I’m certainly listening to enough of it.”

  Sienna gives me a soft elbow to the stomach. “Alright, well here’s your next lesson,” she says, finding the song she wants and hitting play.

  It’s a slow song, but this one has a chick singing it. “Who’s this?” I ask, curious.

  “Alanis Morissette,” she says, throwing her phone onto the blanket beside us. “It’s called ‘Head Over Feet’,” she adds.

  I listen to the lyrics coming from her phone, the slow melody mixing with the sounds of the fire and filling the silence of the night. The song is a thank you to someone and given the strange tension between us, the crackle of electricity that I know we are both feeling, it’s hard not to read more into the song she’s chosen, to some possible hidden meaning behind the words this woman is singing.

  “I actually kinda like this one,” I tell her as it finishes.

  Sienna smiles. “I knew I’d win you over eventually,” she says, reminding me of a line from the song.

  You’ve already won me over, in spite of me.

  Did she pick this song for a reason?

  My mind races with questions but before I have a chance to ask them, she yawns. “Time for bed?” I ask instead.

  Sienna nods. “Yep, I’m just gonna go pee and brush my teeth.”

  I stand, pulling her up with me. “Hold on, I’ll come with you.” Sienna opens her mouth to say something, but I press a finger to her lips. “I need to do the same,” I tell her. “And it beats walking over there alone.”

  She closes her mouth, smiling as she nods once and we both grab our stuff from the truck, before heading over to the toilet block near where we drove in. After we’re done, we walk back to the truck and I reach into the back to unzip the sleeping bags so they’re opened up.

  “What are you doing?” Sienna asks.

  “These things get too hot,” I say. “It’s better like this, so you can kick it off if you need to.”

  She glances up at me, her eyes wide, but she doesn’t say anything, just nods as she takes the hand I offer her and gets into the back of the truck. I follow after her, slipping my shoes off, before undoing the button and zip of my jeans. Sienna makes a strange noise and when I glance over, she’s watching me. “What?”

  “You’re getting undressed?” she asks, her voice catching, almost as though she’s nervous.

  “I’m not sleeping in my jeans,” I tell her.

  “Okay,” she whispers before slipping her shoes off and sliding under the sleeping bag, still dressed in her shorts and my sweatshirt.

  I quickly join her, the two of us lying side by side in the back of my truck, a small space between us as we stare up at the night sky. Neither of us speaks and in the quiet of the night, I can hear her breathing beside me.

  “Remember that time you, me and Caleb went camping in my backyard when we were kids?” I ask, my fingers brushing against hers under the covers.

  Sienna scoffs. “I remember you two farting in that tent all night,” she says. “I thought I was going to suffocate and die.”

  I burst out laughing, grabbing her hand and squeezing her fingers. “I promise I won’t do that tonight.”

  “You better not,” she warns, turning her face toward me.

  I mirror her pose, so we are lying face to face, our hands joined beneath the covers. It feels like we are the only two people in the world right now. Like anything could happen.

  “Wake me up if you get scared or need to pee, okay,” I tell her.

  She smiles. “Okay, you too though.”

  I chuckle, lifting our joined hands to my mouth and pressing a kiss to her knuckles. “I will. Goodnight, Sienna.”

  “Night, Reid.”

  It’s early when I wake, the sun only just rising above the horizon. It was colder than I expected last night, but I’m warm beneath the sleeping bag, especially with the weight of Sienna’s body pressed against mine. Somehow during the night, Sienna has moved so she’s now lying against me, her head resting on my shoulder, her arm draped across my stomach and her hand somehow slipping underneath my t-shirt so it’s now resting against my skin.

  I don’t remember it happening, but unlike the other night, this time, I don’t move away, closing my eyes again as I enjoy this moment of closeness with her. I can feel her breathing, her soft, shallow breaths that tell me she’s still asleep, brushing lightly against my skin.

  She lies completely still, her hand resting on the bare skin of my stomach, unaware that her closeness and her touch is driving me crazy. I lift the arm that’s beneath her head, wrapping it around her shoulders as I gently pull her closer. Our bodies now flush, as my hand slowly moves down her spine.

  Sienna exhales, shuffling her head a little as she turns it into my neck. I open my eyes and watch the colors of the rising sun as they creep across the sky, wondering if there could ever be a more perfect moment than this.

  After a while, I feel her stir again and before I can move, she lifts her head from my shoulder so she’s hovering over me, blinking sleepily.

  “Hey,” I say, tucking her hair behind her ear.

  “Hi,” she whispers, her voice still husky from sleep. She blinks once, before she suddenly realizes where she is and how we’re lying together.

  I feel her fingers curl on my stomach before she starts to pull her hand away and without thinking, I flatten my hand over the top of hers, stopping her.

  She stares at me, both of us caught in some sort of suspended reality, neither of us expecting to wake up like this and neither of us sure what to do now.

  “Did you sleep okay?” I ask, my voice low.

  Sienna’s tongue slips out as she licks her lips and I have to stifle the groan, my fingers tightening against her hand, which still lies on my stomach. “Yeah,” she breathes out, still watching me. “You?”

  “Uh huh,” I murmur, my hand on her back trailing lower, brushing over the exposed skin of her lower back where my sweatshirt that she slept in has risen up.

  She swallows hard, her pupils dilating as a low gasp falls from her mouth.

  “Sienna, I…” I start, but trail off, unsure what I want to say.

  She doesn’t say anything, just shakes her head once as she ever so slightly lowers her face to mine, her eyes now dropping to my mouth. Now it’s me swallowing hard as my gaze moves and focuses on her lips, wondering what it would be…will be…like to kiss her.

  She moves even closer, as though she can read my mind, her eyes still open as she slowly lowers her mouth to mine. Just as our lips are about to touch, when I can already feel the soft touch of her breath, the moment is shattered by the alarm ringing out on my phone.

  “Fuck,” I whisper, letting go of her hand as I reach to silence it, wishing to fuck I’d turned it off when I first woke up.

  I feel the brush of her fingers across my skin as she removes her hand from inside my t-shirt, pulling back a little, as though the moment has been lost. My fingers tighten at her back, urging her back to me, before softening again as she pulls away and sits up.

  I lie here, staring at her back as she looks out at the quiet and mostly empty campsite. “You okay?”

  Sienna glances back at me, a look of sadness on her face. “Yeah,” she says quietly. She doesn’t look away, her eyes locked with mine and I swear there’s something there, something that tells me she wishes that moment hadn’t been lost either.

  She turns away just before I reach to pull her back to me. “Where are we off to today?”

  Exhaling, I run a hand through my hair as I sit up. “Chicago,” I tell her. “About seven hours away.”

  Sienna nods, but says nothing.

  “You wanna take a shower before we leave?” I ask.

/>   She gives me a sideways glance. “Those showers look a little sketchy,” she says. “I might wait.”

  I smile, reaching out to tuck her hair behind her ear. Sienna’s eyes close at my touch and I’m torn between wanting to try and recapture that moment when we first woke up and not wanting to push her. Because I know as soon as my lips touch hers, I’m never going to be able to stop.

  “Okay,” I say, dropping my hand. “Let’s pack up and go find some dingy roadside diner and get breakfast.”

  An hour later, the truck is packed, and we’re back on the road. Neither of us has said much since we left, the silence in the car filled with the low music Sienna puts on.

  When I see a sign for a diner up ahead, I indicate to turn off, the car bouncing through a couple of potholes as we pull up out front.

  Inside, we take a seat in a booth at the front window, both of us accepting the coffee the waitress offers as we scan the menu.

  “How much longer do you think till we get home?” Sienna eventually asks, after we’ve both placed our order.

  I take a sip of coffee, looking at her over the edge of my cup. Shrugging I say, “Don’t know, another stop after Chicago and then home?”

  Sienna nods, turning to look outside the window. I watch her for a second, at the mix of emotions that move over her face; sadness, fear, something else I can’t read. It tugs at my heart and in that instant, I make a decision.

  Pulling my phone from my pocket, I pull up the web browser, searching through for somewhere to stay when we hit the windy city.

  Even though I know she’s gonna be pissed, I pick a five star hotel, right in the heart of the city. On a whim, I book a suite for two nights, wanting to give her something nice before we get home to the shitstorm that awaits us.

  “Sie,” I say, after I’ve made the booking. She turns back to me and I reach for her hand. “We aren’t in a rush. We can spare another night.”

  She gives me a small smile, nodding once. “Okay.”

  After our breakfast, we head back out on the road, the mood lighter, the tension between us somehow lifted.

  “Okay, music maestro, what’s up next in my education of classic nineties music?”

  Sienna grins, reaching for her phone as she starts her scrolling. “I’m thinking we need a bit of grunge this morning,” she says, lifting her arm to sniff it. She’s still wearing my sweater, but I like it, like the look of her in my clothes. “‘Cause I’m certainly feeling a little grungy right now.”

  I laugh. “We’ll grab a shower as soon as we get in,” I tell her. “I’ve already sorted us somewhere to stay.”

  Sienna lifts her head, shooting me a look, her brows narrowed in question. “What do you mean you’ve already sorted it, where are we staying?” she asks.

  I chuckle, reaching over to tap the end of her nose. “You’ll see.”

  “Reid,” she warns.

  “What, it’s fine, Sie,” I tell her. “Don’t worry about it.”

  I expect her to fight me on it, but she doesn’t, instead letting out a little huff before she selects something on her phone and music starts to fill the care.

  “Pearl Jam,” she says, smiling. “Fucking awesome.”

  And as the heavy guitar fills the car, I gotta admit, she’s right.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Sienna

  We arrive in Chicago around six p.m. and given the fact that we haven’t showered, Reid checks us in immediately and we take the elevator up to our room. I’ve never been in a hotel this nice in my life with everything about it screaming luxury. Even the rug under our feet feels like plush clouds and it’s just meant to keep dirty feet from being tracked through the hotel. I feel out of place and smelly as hell, but Reid is radiating confidence like we belong here.

  Besides the trek out to California for school, I don’t travel. I’ve never traveled. There wasn’t money for that kind of thing, so with every stop we’ve made, it’s like I’m making up for all those missed summer vacations other kids took with their families. This stunning hotel is the icing on the cake and I owe Reid more than I will ever be able to repay him.

  I turn to him as the elevator moves to the floor. I don’t even know where to begin, but I have to say something.

  “Reid, as much as this is too much, I really appreciate it. Everything has been…” I stop searching my brain for the right words, the words to truly express how much this has meant to me. Not just the swanky hotel but also everything. “Everything has been amazing, unreal even. You’ve made something I dreaded into something I will always have wonderful memories of.”

  His cheeks flush slightly and there’s nothing more satisfying than knowing I can make Reid Bowen blush. He can talk dirty to me and boss me around, but I know what affects him, and it’s knowing he’s made someone happy. He isn’t as evil as he likes to think.

  “No problem, Sie,” he replies, trying to play it casual but I can tell he’s basking in this whole re-building of our friendship thing. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t, too.

  The elevator opens and I follow Reid down a long hallway until it ends. Even the view from the window at the end of the hall is stunning. We’re twenty stories up into the skyline of Chicago and with the river below us it feels like we’re floating. But when Reid opens the door to our room, stepping aside so I can enter, I’m left breathless.

  The room is on the end of the building with views on both sides. You can see for miles and it’s like nothing I’ve ever seen.

  I gasp out loud as Reid comes up behind me, wrapping his muscular, tattooed arms around my shoulders and pulling me back against him.

  “Amazing, isn’t it?” he asks, resting his chin on the top of my head as we both take in the view.

  “I’ve never seen anything like it,” I whisper, because in this moment I feel like if I speak too loudly, if I move at all, I’ll lose this connection between us.

  It isn’t just the view. It’s the closeness of Reid’s body, the connection I feel when he’s touching me, the look of his tattoos and the thick roping muscles under his skin. Paired with his scent and the quiet calm of the room, this is the moment in my life that all other moments will be compared to. I will forever remember what this felt like and long for it. Today is the day I needed it the most.

  I turn my head and let my lips brush against his warm inked skin. I inhale deeply and when Reid whispers my name, my legs feel like jelly.

  “Sienna.”

  “Yes,” I ask, my name said as if there’s so much more he wants to say. My heart races and I send up a silent plea for him to whisper the words I’ve longed to hear him say.

  Please say you want me.

  The silence lingers between us, hanging heavy like clouds in the sky and when I shift slightly, my ass pressing against his hips, I feel the hardness of him pushing against the zipper of his jeans.

  But before I can say anything, he moves away from me, practically shoving me as he takes a giant step backward.

  “Do you want to take a shower first?” he asks, sounding frazzled as his words come out quickly. His breathing is labored and his eyes don’t meet mine when I look at him.

  “I’d like you to go first,” I say. “You paid for the room and I want you to have the first crack at the spotless shower.” I can’t think of anything better to say to calm the tension that suffocates the room. It’s suffocating me and I need a break from Reid and his fucking killer body.

  What I really want to tell him is that if I shower first, I’m totally going to be rubbing one out and I may even consider doing it while he’s showering because I’ve never wanted someone inside me as badly I want Reid.

  “Okay,” he says, being totally weird and walking instantly into the oversized bathroom, closing the door behind him.

  There’s no way he missed the way I was feeling about him. He had to have felt my heart slamming against my chest. And why the hell would I have pushed my ass against him if I didn’t want h
im touching me? There’s no way I mistook his hard-on. I’ve been around the block a time or two.

  Now I’m just fed up with his shit.

  Why isn’t he taking this further?

  I hear the shower start and without giving it anymore thought, I pull open the mini bar fridge and grab the first bottle I put my hands on. It takes me less than five minutes to put back the entire thing.

  Liquid fucking courage because I’m going to need it if this goes the way I plan, but I’m going to need it even more if it doesn’t.

  We were so close last night in the bed of his truck with my body draped around him, the blackness of the sky closing in on us. All it would’ve taken was for me to slide my hand down a little lower or for him to press his lips to mine as we lied there, face to face.

  Why the hell is he holding back?

  With the whiskey starting to take effect, I pause outside the bathroom door. The sound of the water running, and I swear I hear the unmistakable sound of heavy breathing, but it’s now or never.

  I strip down to my bra and underwear and I quietly open the door pausing for a second as I watch Reid behind the fogged up glass of the shower door. He has one hand pressed against the tile wall, his head down as the water falls over his incredible body and in that second, I throw everything to the side and say fuck it.

  I open the shower door; Reid’s hand is wrapped around his impressive erection as he strokes slowly and if I was wet before just thinking about him, I’m now soaked.

  “Sienna!” he shouts, startling both of us and I giggle, the alcohol now in full effect. “What the fuck are you doing?”

  “I’m doing what you’ve been too big of a pussy to do.”

  “And what’s that?” he asks, his words shaky as his eyes trail over my body. This is the Reid Bowen I don’t know. This is the Reid Bowen that no one has ever seen—nervous and unsure, but still oh so fucking sexy.