Complicate Me Read online

  I straighten just as she walks into my room with a tray holding two coffees in one hand and a bag of something in the other.

  “Hi,” I say as she stops, her eyes wide.

  “Morning,” she says, her cheeks flushing. “I, um, I got us breakfast.” She holds up the bag.

  I grin. “Thanks. I’ll just get dressed,” I say as my hand goes to the knot in my towel.

  Sienna’s eyes widen even farther, her flush darkening as she ducks her head and turns and walks back into her room, not bothering to shut the door still.

  I chuckle, not giving a shit if she sees me as I drop the towel and pull on some boxer briefs, a pair of jeans and an old t-shirt, before walking into her room.

  “How’d you sleep?” I ask, taking the coffee she offers me.

  Sienna nods, her eyes focused on the bagel in front of her. “Good actually,” she says, before taking a bite. “Really good. You?”

  I shrug. “Good at first,” I say. “But then I woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep.”

  Sienna looks up, her eyes meeting mine as she stares up at me. I can’t tell if she knows what happened last night or not, if she knows what I’m talking about when I tell her about waking up. But then she looks away, pushing the bag in my direction as she says, “Here, breakfast.”

  After we check out of the hotel, we hop in the truck and I quickly do a search on my phone before inputting some directions into the GPS.

  “Another detour?” Sienna asks.

  “Sort of,” I say, pulling out of the parking lot. We drive for about ten minutes before I see it, indicating a turn off into the huge parking lot that’s already half full.

  “Walmart?” Sienna says, turning to look at me.

  I grin. “Yep, we need to get supplies,” I say, shutting off the ignition and getting out.

  “Supplies? For what?” she asks, hurrying to catch up with me.

  “For stuff,” I tell her as we walk inside.

  I grab a cart and motion for her to push it while I shop. She wordlessly takes it, following behind me as I walk up and down the aisles. Finally, I hit the camping gear section, pausing in front of some sleeping bags.

  “Why are we getting these?” Sienna asks.

  “We are not,” I tell her. “I am.” She rolls her eyes and I chuckle. “What?” I ask, as though I don’t know what she’s talking about.

  “Why are you getting them then?” she asks.

  I select three from the shelf, putting all of them in the cart because I figure it’s better to have more just in case. Then I move down a bit, testing the thickness of some of the camping mattresses, before selecting a good one that looks just about big enough.

  “Reid, seriously?” she asks, as I move on, this time heading to grab some flashlights and batteries.

  “Yes, Sienna?” I ask, stalling as I grab the front of the cart and pull her over to the food section, grabbing a bunch of shit that should last us for the rest of the trip. Sienna watches, her eyes wide, as I dump in packets of Twizzlers, bottles of water, some jerky, bags of chips and M&Ms, along with a large bottle of tequila and a bucket of margarita mix. Then, I turn back to her, taking the cart from her hands as we head toward the check out.

  I unpack the cart, Sienna standing wordlessly beside me, watching as I pay for all our stuff and then pack the bags into the cart to wheel it out to the car. When I’ve finished loading everything into the back of the truck, I turn to her.

  “We’re heading into the vast unknown of the Midwest, Sie,” I say, twirling my keys on my fingers. “We might need supplies,” I add, winking before I get into the driver’s side.

  Sienna doesn’t move, standing by the side of the truck as the full implication of my words sinks in. Starting the car, I hit the button to lower the passenger side window.

  “Come on! Get in! Adventure awaits!”

  Chapter Seventeen

  Sienna

  I’m still standing outside the truck with Reid smiling at me from inside. He’s effortless and free and I love every single second of it. I haven’t once thought about the reason we’re on this road trip, a trip only thirty-six hours ago, I didn’t want to take.

  “Seriously!” he yells now, but there’s nothing demanding or rude about his comment. He’s trying to get me to let go and follow his carefree attitude, and I’ll be damned if I don’t want to.

  “Wait. We can’t…”

  “Don’t pull that shit, Sienna. I promise you it will be fun. I’ll protect you from all the bugs and shit.”

  He sounds like when we were kids and he was trying to convince me to do something stupid, like jump from the trampoline into the pool. Of course it will be fun, as long as one of us doesn’t get hurt. It’s only camping though. How bad can it be?

  “I was going to say that we can’t leave yet because we didn’t get anything to make S’mores and if we’re going to make S’mores we need firewood.” I put my hands on my hips and give him a look that screams I’m just as bold as he is.

  “Sie, you’re a genius,” he announces, throwing up his hands and jumping out of the truck. He slings an arm around my shoulders as we walk back toward the building. “Let’s do this.”

  It takes us another hour wandering Walmart to find exactly what we need, not just for the S’mores but for all the other things we decide we want and everything we missed the first time around. We now have enough food to feed a large family and more junk than two people need, but we’re sure to have a good time.

  “I can’t believe you didn’t think to get cups for the margaritas the first time,” I say as we pull out of the parking lot. “What did you plan to do? Have us drink it straight from the bucket?” I’m giving him so much shit and as much as he’s trying to act like he doesn’t enjoy it, I can see the smirk on his face creep in.

  I reach over to give him a shove, but before I can, he grabs my hand. A jolt of electricity shoots through my hand and directly into my chest, making me stop breathing for a split second. But what he does next causes my heart to race.

  He brings my hand to his lips and presses a small kiss on the inside of my wrist. It’s a gesture so small, so simple, it should mean nothing, but it doesn’t. It means everything and as much as I want to ask him what it was about, I snap my mouth shut.

  “Thanks for doing this with me. I had no idea I needed it,” he admits and I nod my head in agreement, my words still caught in my throat, threatening to escape and share the secret I’ve held close for so long.

  I’ve had a crush on you since we were thirteen!

  But instead I tell him, “I really needed this, too. I think we both needed it.”

  We both fall silent for a few minutes, letting our words and actions sear themselves deep within our skin, a reminder that we still need each other more than we’ll ever fully admit to. I want to hold onto these memories for as long as I can. I want to pull them out when I see Reid with another girl and remind myself that I will always win. I will always have more to offer him than they ever can, because we will always have our past that binds us.

  “Where are we headed?” I ask, realizing I never questioned him, but there’s something comforting in knowing I trust him wholeheartedly.

  “Omaha,” he states with such exuberance that he makes it sound like he said Paris or Rome or London.

  “Oh!” I squeal, flapping my hands in front of me as I snatch my phone from my purse. “I have the perfect song!” I scroll through until I find it, plugging it in I let the music begin to play without saying anything more.

  The Counting Crows “Omaha” begins to croon through the speakers and I mouth the words, quietly taking in all its beauty.

  “Why can’t you just listen to what everyone else does?” Reid asks playfully, getting me back for teasing him earlier.

  “Why can’t you just appreciate how fucking epic the music of the nineties was?” I let out a hard sigh, propping my feet on the dashboard as I let the music play.

/>   We arrive in Omaha around six p.m. with both of us complaining about being starving. We didn’t stop for lunch figuring it would cut into our drinking and camping time. Reid pulls into the campground and up to the small booth at the entrance, paying for a tent site, even though we’ll be sleeping in the back of the truck. It’s the cheapest place we’ve stayed and I hope we both don’t regret it. Nothing is worse than waking up with a million mosquito bites.

  The woman in the booth gives him some quick directions as to where our site is and Reid follows them, backing the truck in so it’s facing the fire pit.

  The place is pretty much empty given it’s a weekday and the weather in the Midwest is starting to turn a little cool in the evenings, but that won’t stop us.

  Reid and I unpack everything from the back and while he works on getting the fire started I arrange the camping mattress in the back of the pickup along with the sleeping bags. Laying out another blanket for us to sit on in front of the fire, I sit down and begin to pull the hot dogs from the packaging.

  “I’m gonna go find some sticks to use to cook the hot dogs,” I tell Reid, but he slips his hand around my wrist, stopping me. I look up, our eyes meeting and something intense passes between us. I feel it in my entire body and Reid’s lips part just slightly, his breathing halted, as we stand suspended in the darkness.

  I’m suddenly more aware of my own heartbeat than I was just seconds ago as it thumps loudly in my chest. Where his fingers touch my skin leaves me hyper aware of the closeness and I shudder as he gently strokes the inside of my wrist, the same place he kissed earlier.

  “Are you cold?” he asks, noticing the way my body trembles, but he doesn’t wait for me to respond. He pulls off his sweatshirt and hands it to me. It’s a simple gesture, almost cheesy and I would normally tease him mercilessly about it, but I let it go.

  I pull the sweatshirt over my head and I’m instantly hit with his smell, a smell that will always be his and will always remind me of home. I want to pull the sweatshirt up to my nose and inhale, basking in the comfort it brings me, but I quickly look away.

  “I’ll grab the sticks. I don’t want you wandering around alone.”

  I laugh out loud. This is shit is getting ridiculous. He’s treating me like I’m going to break, like I’m some rare object that he needs to keep safe.

  “Reid, you gotta knock this shit off. I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself. Hell, I’ve been doing it for damn near forever.”

  He steps away from me, crossing his arms over his chest, his t-shirt pulling up a little and my eyes immediately shoot to the small piece of exposed skin. He snaps his fingers quickly.

  “My eyes are up here,” he announces. “Maybe I don’t want you to have to think about taking care of yourself for once.”

  “Whatever, Reid.”

  He returns a few minutes later with a couple of sticks, handing them to me, I spear the hot dogs and begin turning them over the fire. Reid begins to mix the margaritas and in a few minutes we have drinks and dinner.

  “Cheers,” I say, holding my plastic cup out to him and he taps his against mine. “To old friends.” Reid nods his head, taking a huge bite of his hot dog. “Careful, that’s a mouthful,” I say, regretting it almost instantly. I nearly smack myself in the face with my palm. I set him up perfectly. I cringe, hoping he doesn’t see the look on my face in the light of the fire.

  I quickly take a drink hoping it doesn’t come flying back out of my mouth when he makes some lewd comment, but I’m shocked when he doesn’t say anything.

  I look around wondering if there’s someone within earshot and he’s suddenly grown polite and not prone to embarrassing me, but there’s no one to be seen. I watch him refill his cup and suck it back. Everything about this lack of an exchange is weird.

  This is a whole new Reid.

  He refills both our cups now and we drink, sharing a conversation that’s simple and peaceful. The night and the darkness blanket us as we look up at the stars. It’s been so long since I’ve seen them. The lights of L.A. blur any chance of seeing them and it feels like Reid misses them too as he stares off into the sky.

  “You ready for S’mores?” I ask quietly, while Reid puts back his third hot dog. Nodding his head, I start to get everything ready.

  The fire is hot and the marshmallows melt almost instantly and Reid has to help me sandwich them between the chocolate and graham crackers.

  “Here, this one’s yours,” I say, handing one to Reid and keeping the other for myself. He takes a huge bite and marshmallow strings out from the graham cracker landing on his chin.

  I laugh, looking over at his messy face and hands.

  “Oh my god, Reid. You’re like a toddler.” I reach over and use my thumb to wipe the sticky marshmallow from his face. Just as I’m about to lick it off my thumb, he leans forward and takes my thumb into his mouth. It’s so reminiscent of when I cut my finger, but this time the margaritas make me less inhibited, less worried what he’ll think as I move closer to him.

  My eyes linger on where our bodies are connected and I wet my lips wondering if I should just lean in and kiss him, if I should just say fuck it. But nervousness takes over and I pull my thumb from his mouth, grabbing for my drink and downing what’s left of it in one gulp.

  I’m already more turned on by Reid’s ability to suck my fingers than I’ve been by any guy in the last year and I suddenly feel the need to keep my own mouth busy.

  Shoving my S’more into my mouth, I find it to be just as messy as Reid’s. I’m sucking at my fingers and licking my lips all the while Reid is staring at me. His eyes glow in the firelight, wide and taking me in, and I immediately stop what I’m doing, my finger still in my mouth.

  “Fuck, Sienna, I’m obsessed with you,” he mutters, the fire crackling loudly, popping at the exact moment he speaks, and I swear I couldn’t have heard him correctly.

  “What?” I ask, watching his face to see if he gives anything away, but he doesn’t repeat himself.

  “Fuck, I’m tired,” he mutters now, dragging a hand through his hair. I know there’s no possible way he said what I thought he did and when I look back at him, our eyes catching, the intensity is gone.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Reid

  “You’re tired?” she repeats, although I can’t help but wonder if she heard what I really said. “Do you want to go to bed?”

  Yeah, I do, but not to sleep.

  “Nah, I’m good, Sie,” I say, shaking my head as I reach for the marshmallows. I’m actually horny as fuck and desperate for her, but it’s not like I can say that out loud. “You want another one?” I ask, holding the bag up.

  “Sure,” she says, topping off our margaritas. “You sure you’re okay?”

  No. I really want you right now.

  “Yep, I’m good, really. Why don’t you put some of your outdated music on?” I suggest, flashing her a grin, trying to lighten the situation. “There’s no one here, so we shouldn’t get too many complaints,” I add, winking at her.

  The campground we’re staying in is practically empty, only two other tents in the whole place and they are far enough away that we don’t need to worry about them. They’re also occupied by people who look old enough to be our grandparents, who I’m also sure went to sleep several hours ago and probably can’t hear that well anyway.

  Sienna rolls her eyes, but she’s smiling as she reaches for her phone and starts scrolling through her music. “You making fun of my music tastes, Bowen?” she says, smiling. She’s a little drunk now, but it’s cute. Adorable actually.

  I smirk at her, taking a sip of my drink. “No,” I tease.

  She reaches over and punches me. “You are so.”

  “I’m not,” I say, laughing. “I just don’t get how someone our age can be so in love with music from the nineties. I mean were we even born when half the shit you listen to came out?”

  Sienna is giggling, shaking her head
as she continues to scroll through her phone. “I don’t know,” she says. “But whatever, I just like it!”

  “God you’re fucking adorable, you know that?” I tell her, evidently also tipsy enough that I don’t care what I say to her tonight.

  “Of course I am,” she says, smirking a little.

  I laugh, throwing an arm around her shoulder as I pull her against me and kiss the top of her head. It feels like a natural thing to do and this time, she doesn’t tense up or pull away. Instead, she relaxes against me, her body half leaning against mine, my arm still wrapped around her shoulders.

  She lets out a sigh. “I think maybe it’s because of my mom,” she whispers, still scrolling through her music.

  “Huh?” I ask, glancing down at her.

  Caleb and Sienna never talk about their mom. Partly I think, because she died a long time ago, so none of us really remember her, but mostly because of the way she died and what that did to their father—and to them.

  “I found a whole bunch of her stuff once,” she continues, still scrolling. “It was shoved in boxes in the basement. I guess he put it down there after she died. He sorta lost it then, so…” She pauses and I press another kiss to the top of her head. “Anyway, she had a whole bunch of CDs in there and I just started listening to them. It’s not like I was trying to find a memory of her or get closer to her or whatever, but I guess it just grew on me.”

  I squeeze her shoulder, taking another sip of my drink before speaking. “I don’t think it would be a bad thing if this was a way of you remembering her.”

  Sienna shrugs. “Maybe,” she says, glancing up at me quickly. “I barely do though.”

  “You were pretty young when she died,” I say.

  “Yeah and it’s not like she was, you know…that present when she was alive.”

  “No,” I murmur, even though I don’t have any real memory of their mom. It’s only the things I learned after she died. How she was rarely there to take care of them, often holed up in her bedroom for days on end. How their dad wasn’t much better, and how that only got worse after his wife died.