Complicate Me Read online

  Me: you okay? You get home alright?

  I watch through the window as Sienna grabs her phone, clearly reads the text before showing it to Ruby. Ruby says something back to her, Sienna shaking her head before she sighs and types out a response. A second later, my phone vibrates.

  Sienna: Am fine. Yes.

  Her short response pisses me off, but there’s nothing I can do about it and at least she’s home, safe and alone. Sliding my phone back into my pocket, I head back home.

  Walking into the living room, my blood boils when I see Justin, now sitting on my sofa with an arm around some girl, his mouth against her ear as he whispers something to her. She smiles at whatever it is, sliding her hand higher up his thigh so she’s practically cupping his dick.

  Without thinking, I stalk over to him, reaching down and grabbing the front of his shirt as I haul him to his feet. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” I say, my face right up in his.

  “Fuck off, Reid,” he says, shoving me back. “You wanted me to leave Sienna alone, I’m leaving her alone,” he adds, shrugging.

  “What, with another piece of ass?” I spit.

  Justin grins and it takes everything I have in me not to punch that smug grin right off his face…again. “For now, yeah,” he says smirking, clearly telling me that while Sienna isn’t in the picture tonight, that doesn’t mean she won’t be some other night.

  “You are a fucking asshole,” I say, stepping closer.

  “Oh what, so it’s okay for you, but not for the rest of us?” Justin spits back.

  “Fuck off,” I growl. “And leave Sienna the fuck alone,” I shout before turning and stomping off to my room.

  Inside, some chick is giving a guy a blow job as he leans back against my dresser. Rolling my eyes, I shout, “Get the fuck out,” before shoving them both toward the door and slamming it behind them. “Fuck!”

  The following week passes with limited interaction with Sienna. I still check in with her each day, but her responses are short and cold. I know she’s pissed off at me, but I don’t care, especially after seeing Justin come back here to hook up with someone else after she didn’t invite him in.

  I wish I’d taken a picture, texted it to her so she could see for herself just what an asshole he is. But I didn’t, instead spending the rest of my night alone in my room while the party raged on around me, in what must have been a first.

  I know Justin’s been over to see her though. I’ve caught him dropping by a few times. I’ve seen them on campus together too, grabbing lunch on more than one occasion. At this point, short of handcuffing her to my bed, a tempting thought, I’m not sure what I can do to keep her away from him.

  “You ready?” Matt asks, as he walks out, a bag over his shoulder.

  “Yep,” I nod as Logan joins us and the three of us walk outside to my truck.

  We’ve got a game tonight, the game I told Sienna about and even though I haven’t given away her tickets, I’m pretty sure she’s not gonna show. Not after last weekend.

  When we get to the stadium, the coach takes us through the usual warm-up and pre-game pep talk bullshit. It’s supposed to get us fired up and motivated, but truth be told, tonight I’m just not feeling it.

  Ordinarily I love playing football, have ever since I was a kid. But it’s different out here, with more players and more competition for spots and game time. Plus, I miss not having Caleb by my side, the two of us somehow able to read an on-field play as though we shared a brain.

  Football was easy with him, but it was also fun.

  The stadium is packed by the time we run out, the crowd cheering loudly as music blares through the speakers and the cheerleaders jump around on the sideline. It’s still a rush running out onto a field like this and despite my earlier funk, I can’t deny the buzz I get from it all.

  As we make our way to the benches, I can’t help but glance up at the seats I had reserved for Sienna. They’re sitting empty, just as I expected, but it still feels like a punch in the gut. Forcing myself to ignore whatever this feeling is, I turn to the coach as he runs through the plays for tonight.

  “Ready?” he eventually asks, crouched in the middle of a circle of players, all huddled over him.

  “Yeah,” comes the sound of thirty guys as we all clap once before breaking apart.

  I run onto the field, taking up my position as quarterback at the back, ready to catch the ball I know Logan is gonna hurl my way from the right side as soon as this play gets underway.

  Football has always come naturally to me, my brain somehow able to see runs and plays before they even happen. It all feels like watching it in slow motion, allowing me to anticipate everything the opposition and my teammates are going to do.

  Just before the referee blows his whistle to signal the start of play, I risk another glance up at the stands.

  My heart flips in my chest when I see Sienna and Ruby walking down the stairs, cups in hand as they make their way to the seats. Ruby’s holding a giant foam hand in our team colors and Sienna is wearing a tight t-shirt with the Hawthorn logo on the front, but I don’t give a shit about any of that because she came.

  She fucking came tonight.

  Sienna being here at the game reminds me of all the times she used to come and watch Caleb and me play in high school. I don’t think she ever missed a single game. Part of it was probably because she knew neither her dad nor my parents would ever come to watch us, but another part of me secretly always hoped it was because she wanted to.

  I have no idea why she’s here tonight, especially after last weekend, but either way I don’t give a shit. She’s here and it’s not with Justin. It’s with Ruby, her best friend.

  “BOWEN!” Logan suddenly shouts, interrupting my trip down memory lane.

  I turn to him and he’s watching me, hands out as he shrugs in a way that I know says, what the fuck?

  I grin, even though he can’t see me under my helmet before giving him a thumbs up as I shout, “Hustle,” to the rest of the team.

  The ref’s whistle signals, and I watch as the kick is made, the ball flying in the direction of Logan who catches it with ease. He fakes a move, before doubling back, moving across the line and without looking, offloading the ball to me.

  Most opposition players expect me to run the ball when I get it, a typical play for college football. But Coach encourages us to mix it up, to have me throw it just as many times, not just in a bid to confuse the other team, but also because I know he’s trying to get me used to how they play it in the pros.

  This time, I run it though, not wanting to give away our play straightaway, gaining forty yards before I’m caught. The crowd cheers at the play and I can’t resist glancing up to where I know Sienna is sitting.

  Her hands are clasped together in front of her mouth and I’m not sure if it’s because she’s nervous or scared. She’s seen me get tackled plenty of times to know I can take a hit.

  Play continues and it’s not long before a touchdown is scored, taking us into an early lead. I feel strangely invigorated now, my blood pumping through my body, adrenaline coursing through my veins. The lights of the stadium beat down on us, the whole ground buzzing with a weird kind of electrified charge.

  The game goes on, the opposition barely putting up a fight as we continue to hammer them, scoring two more touchdowns before halftime. As we all huddle on the sideline to listen to the coach go over the next lot of plays, I angle myself so I can look up at Sienna as she sits up in the stands.

  When I look up, I see she’s watching me, her eyes focused on mine as she stares down at me. She has an unreadable expression on her face and I find myself unable to tear my eyes away from her.

  “Bowen,” someone says as a hand slaps at the back of my head, “you with us?”

  I reluctantly turn away, focus on the board the coach is holding, which is now covered in black lines indicating a play he wants to pull off. I quickly scan it, nodding as
I say, “I’m good.”

  A whistle blows and we run back onto the field to take up our positions again. The crowd is pumped, cheering because we’ve got a strong lead already.

  Once again, the ball comes sailing over to Logan, who off-loads it immediately to me. I’m supposed to kick it, get rid of it quickly, like the coach instructed during halftime. But I don’t, wanting to run it so I can burn off some of this weird energy that’s coursing through me.

  I have no idea if it’s because of Sienna being at my game or if it’s because of the look she gave me during halftime, all I know is my body is jacked and short of a hard fuck, a hard run is the only way I can work it off.

  I call out a play, not missing the head shake Logan gives me signifying this is a mistake as I start to run. From the corner of my eye, I can see a player heading toward me, our left tackle right behind him. I barely even glance in their direction, which is my second mistake, forgetting that our left tackle is a slow and useless piece of shit, right as the opposition player collides with me, hard.

  I hear the loud crack of our helmets smashing together as his body slams into mine and the wind gets knocked out of me. I immediately drop the ball, my limbs feeling like jelly as I try to lift my head, the stadium now a swirling mess of colors and lights.

  “Reid,” someone calls, my name sounding like it’s coming from a million miles away. “Reid, dude, you okay?”

  I try to nod my head, but the movement causes a sharp pain to shoot through my skull and straight down my neck. “Fuck,” I grit out, attempting to lift my arm.

  I’m not sure what happens next, because all of a sudden the world goes black and the last thing I feel is the heavy thump of my body hitting the ground.

  Chapter Seven

  Sienna

  My heart stops in my chest and along with the rest of the stadium, I’m holding my breath. Ruby stands next to me, looking at me, waiting for me to say something. I’ve seen Reid and Caleb take a ton of hits; it’s football, but nothing like what I just witnessed. The paramedics rush the field as Reid’s limp body lays there, trainers and medics gathering around him.

  “Is he okay?” Ruby asks, the panic in her voice evident and she scans my face for answers.

  “Yeah, yeah, I’m sure he’s fine. Stuff like this happens all the time,” I tell her, lying through my teeth because if I don’t, hysteria will seep through. My words don’t sound like my own and the lump that forms in my throat practically chokes me. I don’t know whether to swallow it back and let the fear weigh heavy in my stomach or open my mouth and let out the scream its holding back.

  My hands shake as I pull my phone from my pocket, typing out a message to Caleb as the silence of the stadium nearly brings me to my knees. The message remains half-typed when the paramedics load Reid onto the stretcher and everything else around me fades into the blur of movement.

  “Maybe you should go with him?” Ruby suggests, turning to me and shaking me by the arm, but the stadium erupts in applause, concern for him echoing in every corner as they take him away.

  I shake my head at Ruby’s question and I don’t know why. Why am I still hiding my feelings for him? Why am I pretending I don’t care when I do?

  I don’t even know where they’re taking him or who I should ask. Reid and I aren’t those kinds of friends anymore and the thought shatters my heart into a million pieces.

  “I’m sure someone will be there with him,” I mutter, my words nearly lost in the din of the crowd and now it’s Ruby shaking her head.

  “No Sienna. Stop being so stupid. I’m not going to tease you or give you shit about this later. You need to go to him. He doesn’t have anyone.”

  Her words slap me across the face with a sting so brutal tears flood my eyes.

  He doesn’t have anyone.

  She’s right and my mind is overtaken by images of us as kids, as teenagers and all those times we only had each other. I don’t remember my life before Reid, but I know it was empty. And the thought of possibly losing him now wreaks havoc on my body, the physical ache so deep, I feel like I can’t move.

  I don’t remember when things between us changed, when we became what we are today, but I want to go back to before it all. I want to take Reid in my arms and hug him with fervor and have it mean nothing more than compassion. I want him to look at me and see his best friend and not the girl he enjoys mind-fucking. I want the jealousy I feel when I see him with another girl to fade into the distance and relieve me of this war my body struggles with.

  The game goes on like this didn’t even happen, but everything around me moves in slow motion and I look down at my phone, still clutched in my shaking hand. I see the partial message typed out to Caleb. I see Ruby wide-eyed and staring at me, waiting for a reaction from me other than pure and utter confusion. I feel my body moving up the stairs and toward the exit, but none of it feels real.

  Ruby’s hand pushes at my back, making me walk faster. She’s talking but I don’t hear her, her words are a garbled mess in my mind as my thoughts are entirely consumed with Reid.

  Did they take him to the hospital? Is he just back in the locker room with the medics while they shoot him up with pain meds or whatever?

  I stop, practically in the middle of the street and Ruby throws her hands up, her forehead wrinkled and her eyes wide. She shoves me again, this time toward the sidewalk and stumble as I sit down on the curb.

  “Sienna, the paramedics took him away. It’s serious,” she shouts, and her words begin to wear thin.

  Nag.

  Nag.

  Nag.

  “I know that!” I yell back at her, my fear making me short with her as my vision once again blurs with tears. “But fuck, Ruby, I don’t even know where he is.”

  I finish my text to Caleb, my words far more desperate than I want them to seem and my phone rings instantly.

  “Sienna,” he snaps when I answer, not greeting him with anything but a few muffled sobs. “Where is he?”

  “I don’t know,” I stutter out, swiping at my runny nose with the back of my hand.

  “Where are you?” His questions fly at me in rapid succession and I wish I had more answers for him.

  “I’m outside the stadium.”

  “Well, fuck, go home and get your ass to the hospital.” He’s far more controlled than I am. Honestly, I’m irrational right now and this is so not like me. I grew up without parents and any time shit got real, Caleb and I dealt with it ourselves. Our dad spent more time in hospitals than he did in our home, and it wouldn’t be the first time I spent an hour on the phone calling around to find a patient. “Stop crying,” he now says, all compassion gone, but this is how we deal with things. The compassion comes later when we’ve navigated our way out.

  “Okay, okay,” I tell him, again wiping at my nose and sucking in a hard breath. I swallow hard and stand up, making my way back to my house with Ruby trailing close behind.

  “Call when you know what the fuck is going on,” Caleb asserts, but on the tail end of his words I can hear the vague lilt of worry. “And Sienna, it’s going to be okay.”

  His last line brings the tears again and all I can do is nod my head.

  Ruby and I spend about thirty minutes calling around to some of the local hospitals. This is one of those times where I wished we went to school in one of those small towns where everything is within walking distance and the hospital would know Reid by name. But I’m not that lucky.

  “Take my car,” Ruby says, shoving her keys at me and instead of grabbing the keys I grab her. Pulling her in for a hug because right now my brain can’t even process how I would use public transportation to get to the hospital.

  “Thank you,” I say, my head resting on her shoulder for a split second before I take the keys from her hand and hightail it out to the alleyway behind our house.

  I drive to the hospital in a haze, the GPS directing me, but I’m not fully aware of my actions and when I finally pull
into the parking garage, I let out a small sigh of relief. But I know the worst is yet to come if Reid’s injury is serious.

  There’s a small line at the check-in desk of the ER and my patience is non-existent as I wait for the line to dissipate. I know there are people with serious injuries and major issues that need to be tended to, but this damn line needs to get moving.

  When I finally make my way to the front, I’m breathy and anxious and my words come out in a rush.

  “I’m here to see Reid Bowen. He was brought in about an hour ago.” I lean over the counter like that’s somehow going to get things moving faster, like the nurse is suddenly going to whip the computer screen around so I can see what room he’s in.

  “And you are?” she asks, her lips pursed and her head cocked to the side.

  “I’m…I’m…I’m his sister,” I say, the lie falling so easily from my lips and the nurse lets out a low laugh.

  “You and everyone else,” she says, her eyes leading over to a waiting room filled with about five girls all wearing Hawthorn gear and too much makeup.

  “Are you fucking kidding me?” I mumble, shaking my head. “Can you just tell him Sienna is here? He’ll let me come back, I swear.”

  She wrinkles up her forehead and shakes her head indicating she has far better things to do than play matchmaker for an injured football quarterback.

  Without continuing, I storm off to join the Reid Bowen Fan Club, flopping down in a chair far enough away that I don’t look to be a part of it.

  I text him, shooting off a series of messages, each with a snarky follow-up so I don’t look like I’m that concerned, even if I am. I have no idea if he’ll get them or if they’ll even let me back, but at least he knows I’m here.

  Seconds later a nurse calls my name, shouting it out from the doorway to the ER rooms.